Anyone else feel insecure when you conform to femininity?

I hope others can relate, but I consider myself pretty feminine. I put on more of a feminine appearance and I do have feminine interest, however I notice when I perform ultra femininity, like getting my nails done or wearing a full face of makeup, I absolutely feel like garbage. I feel so insecure, like I’m a joke and being made fun of, or that I’m fake, or trying to be something that’s not. I just don’t feel confident.

I remember I was tried fake lashes for the first time, and I took them off after like a minute because I just couldn’t walk around and feel like myself. When I took them off, I felt so much more comfortable, and that’s why I only use mascara now. I don’t do lip liner anymore either, it just feels like I’m putting on a facade. A mask.

I don’t even wear pink that much anymore for this reason, I now switched over to dark clothes. I don’t even wear jewelry, wearing earrings makes me even feel a little out of my element. What’s weird though is that with my nails, I will paint my toes. I actually like when my toes are done, but I could care less for my hands. I still do wear makeup and do my hair nice but that’s it. I genuinely now feel comfortable and like myself, and not feel like as if I stand out in a judgmental way. I’m thinking it also has to do with I’m turning 19, maybe it’s maturity.