Creatine has truly changed my life

I know there's been some curious newcomers on here who have been a little skeptical, but hear me out. I also was once just a normal guy living a normal, uneventful life. Eventually, I discovered this subreddit and read about some of the positive experiences others on here have had with creatine by ingesting it optimally.

One night, I took a heaping scoop of micronized creatine and stuffed it under my foreskin, letting it absorb into my penis and body overnight while I slept. I woke up the next morning thinking it was just another day until I looked in the mirror. I was suddenly 7 feet tall, and my penis had grown down to my knees! Astonished by this revelation, I immediately grabbed my tubs of creatine, stuffed more under my much longer foreskin, and shoved a fistful of creatine up my butt. I had done the foreskin absorption method and boofed simultaneously for the first time. I started doing this daily for a few weeks.

Today, I now have 7 penises that are all at least down to my knees while standing 16 feet tall with humongous muscles (boobs, arms, legs, back), and a huge bubble butt. I am also newly engaged to the love of my life, my wife's boyfriend's husband. He has also started his creatine journey the proper way, ingesting via boofing and the foreskin absorption method. He already has two penises, with a third starting to sprout! Each new penis comes with a foreskin, too, so we can both exponentially take more and more creatine. Lastly, we can now frequently feed/share our gainz by feeding each other our creatine-infused delicious cum!

I used to be just a normal guy living a normal, uneventful life. But thanks to creatine, you guys, and the success stories you have all shared, I have never felt greater and, more importantly, never been happier :)