I struggle with identifying as female due to my hatred of my reproductive system.

Idk if this makes sense but bare with me.

For as long as I can remember (or at least as long as I've had periods) I've hated being a woman. I remember as a teenager thinking maybe life would be easier if I were a boy. I read about transitioning and what goes along with that...but I didn't really want to be a boy. Life would just be easier if I was. I remember having these thoughts for a couple years. Not obsessively but enough that I wondered if maybe I was transgender. This was the early 2000s so things were different then. By the time I was 16-17 and started having PMDD symptoms I fucking hated being a woman. I spent hours researching sterilization trying to figure out if anyone would remove my uterus or make me infertile...I've never wanted kids. I've just always had this gut feeling that "something is wrong" with my body.

It doesn't cause me a lot of anxiety and I don't obsess over it, but it's always in the back of my mind. I guess it's 2021 and if I wanted to I could identify as queer or nonbinary or something, but am I nonbinary or do I just hate my reproductive system? Can anyone relate?