Some of you don't seem to understand.

The things I say. The things I do. The things I imagine. Are all genuine.

Do any of you think you can ever match the fire that burns inside my heart for Anchovy? Do any of you think you can ever have the same amount of insanity that makes my head spin? My bones hurt? My skin crawl? My blood boil?

Never. You will never achieve what I have achieved. I see Anchovy in my dreams. I see Anchovy in my nightmares. I see Anchovy outside. I see Anchovy inside. In my bed. On my couch. On the bus. In the train. Beside me. Behind me. In front of me. Above me. Below me.

She. Is. Everywhere.

Some of you may not know what I have done to achieve her love... well let me remind you and let me tell you...

I had slow, romantic sex with my pillow because it looked like Anchovy.

I took out my old boots that were reminiscent of her ones and licked them clean while imagining how she degraded me, hitting myself on the head for experience.

I have beaten up men who dared to say anything negative about Anchovy.

I have given Anchovy cum tribute many times by simply cumming on my phone screen with her picture open and then licking it clean so that my Duce doesn't have clean herself up.

I spent countless hours sitting alone in my room, in complete darkness, in complete isolation, dreaming about Anchovy.

Those who try to mimic me, I warn you, for your own sanity. Stop it. This is not a path you want to take.

Accept that I am your leader. Accept that my mission here is to love Girls und Panzer and unite Gooners under one flag. Accept that I am your savior and follow me!

I forgive those who want to be forgiven and I welcome them to our new empire that shall last a thousand years!

Glory to Anchovy! Glory to Anzio! Glory to GuP Gooning!