I cheated on my bf and don’t necessarily feel bad.

So, I (20F) have come to a new city to visit some family. I downloaded some dating apps not to find a date but just someone I could explore the city with. I told my bf about this as well.

However, I started talking to this one guy (24M) and without even realising I was up most of the night talking to him which continued into the next day. We decided to meet that same day for a late night drive. In the interest of complete honesty, we were flirting the entire time. There were stares and intimate silences, all that jazz, the chemistry was through the roof. We were both incredibly attracted to each other. Around 4am, he dropped me off and I felt a little bad that he had driven around for 4 hours straight so I asked him to come upstairs, just to rest for a bit and leave. It was all very innocent, we were just lying down on the bed, far away from each other but then he inched closer. One thing led to another and we ended up making out.

After a couple of hours, he left. That same day, we continued texting each other and decided to meet again for dinner and drinks. We went out to a nice bar in the city and we just couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. The same thing happened, he came over, things went a little further and then he left. There is nothing serious going on, just an intense physical attraction and I have never really felt this with anyone else before, not even my boyfriend, who I do love very much.

In the last couple of days I have found it a little difficult to speak to my boyfriend and find myself losing interest. However, I know this is temporary and that once I’m back home I’m going to regret breaking things off with him because he’s genuinely a great guy. I recognise that this is selfish, but for whatever reason, I seem to have a very “what happens in vegas, stays in vegas” approach towards this whole thing. I can’t really tell anyone about this because if I explained my true feelings, they’d probably think something’s very wrong with me.

I think it’s the distance that’s really messing with my brain. But then, if I can’t stay loyal to a person just because of our physical proximity, then there must be something wrong right? I feel like a bad person but find it difficult to care.