Why is all pro trans discourse only ever about passing trans people?

Every time conservatives talk about bathrooms, you get the same reaction. "Oh, so you want this hyper masculine man in the women's room and this super womanly woman in the men's room?" like it's some kinda gotcha. I'm so sick of it. It makes me feel incredibly dysphoric and honestly betrayed. It's great that some people get to pass like that, but not all of us can. And we're still just as valid. I think it's incredibly harmful to only ever acknowledge passing trans people when encountering conservative's bullshit. It's almost like they're agreeing with them. As if forcing trans people to use their agab's bathroom is only stupid if they'd look out of place there. Only allowing passing trans people use the correct bathroom shouldn't be our goal. It's the same with sports and every other trans issue. Don't let them move our goalposts, we should not make compromises with transphobes.