Buddhism is just as insane and stupid as any other religion

(First of all I want to start by saying that I'm criticizing the ideas here, not the people. Good people and bad people can have all kind of different beliefs, the few Buddhists that I've talked to have been nice to me and I appreciate the fact that they were not afraid to question their beliefs).

I had an existential crisis some time ago which pushed me to do some research about philosophy and religion, and I ended up learning about Buddhism. At first when I learned about the origin story of the Buddha I thought "this is it, someone who understands me" because the existential crisis that he had when he left his palace felt very similar to mine. But then I did more research about it and here are my problems with this religion :

- they believe that we are trapped in a cycle of rebirth and suffering called the "Saṃsāra", with several "realms" like the "deva" realm, the animal, hell, ghost realm.

- their belief in "karma" and past lives make it that if a child is born with an incurable disease, according to this religion it's because of bad karma accumulated in past lives :

"If it’s a past-kamma disease, there are times when treatment in the present can make it go away [..] But there are also times when the past kamma is so strong that no treatment will help it." (source, Q11. It's written somewhere else that we should still have compassion for the person that is supposedly paying for bad karma but to me it is still victim-blaming. It must be horrible to say this to someone)

- it's very anthropocentric. Basically, we are very lucky to be born as humans for the unique chance to learn about the Dharma, because "Buddhahood" can be achieved only with this human form. But even then they believe that you need a lot of lifetimes before doing it because it's a difficult and long task. There is a big paradox here : human life is terrible and we should escape it by attaining Nirvana and never coming back to life, but at the same time human life is very precious, because... it's the only form where you can learn to escape life.

The concept of Buddhahood is also by itself very abstract and seems very subjective, just like when you read people describing their experience in meditation. Everyone has a different subjective experience and there is no scientific basis to say "this person has attained the buddhist "Enlightenment".

Think about it, not only Siddartha left behind his wife and child but he also believed that his ideas were so important that all the persons on Earth are very lucky to be born as humans only to learn about what he was teaching. It seems so narcissistic to me.

- there is this absurd contradiction about having children (for lay people, since it's ideal for monks and nuns to not have them if I'm not mistaken). Since they believe that life is mostly suffering (yes I know that's not a perfect translation of "dukkha" but it's still very close) and that the ultimate goal of Buddhism is to never come back by attaining Nirvana, surely it must be a bad idea for lay people to have children ? But no, Buddhism believes that even if person A and B don't have child C, that child will still be born somewhere else because of karma, and that the only way to escape anyway is "enlightenment". So it doesn't matter, go on and have children even if life is mostly "dukkha".

Despite some interesting things that I've read and that can be useful (not clinging too much to things, being careful of attachments and desire, things like that) I truly wish I had never learned anything about this religion. All these ideas of rebirth and hell, this idea that sensual pleasures are dangerous and bad and that you should renounce everything and not become attached to anyone, really messed me up mentally. It seems like according to Buddhism I shouldn't seek to have a wife, to enjoy sensual pleasures like food and sex, because it's "attachment" and it's impermanent, and that it will keep me trapped in the cycle of rebirths. This idea of being threatened by hell and rebirths is very stressful to me.

My fellow atheists/agnostics, don't you feel scared sometimes about all these threats of hell and afterlife ? I know that there have been thousands of religions on Earth and that all of them are certainly bullshit, but I can't shake that feeling of anxiety over that little "what if it's true ?" with all these threats of hell, rebirth, etc.