How to deal with a friend intimacy

Hi there

I'd like to ask for your advice, because i appreciate your view

So, if someone lets you into their private space, then out, then in again, and out... and so on, would that hurt you ? The person explains that at certain times she doesn't want to show certain parts of herself.

I understand that, but it hurts me so much every time. I want to tell her not let me in anymore, even furtively, because it hurts me and makes me so jealous of those to whom she gives total access. Furthermore, I don't want to have a fucking jealousy crisis every time because that would be an emotional burden for her.

And on the other hand, I feel like I should not tell her because it would be like betraying her by not accepting her choice.

And a part of me deeply wishes to disappear from his life, because no matter how hard I try to be emotionally in tune, it seems never enough. I have this feeling that there's a line I can never cross, as if I'm not the person she's waiting for. Yet I like her so much, I want this friendship to work and to be deep. And don't want to be the toxic ball and chain that asks too much of her.

Thank you for reading me. Writing all this already takes a load off my mind.

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