Why OPD is better than everyone else

I know that’s an incendiary title, but I’m just repeating what I was told during orientation, which is that OPD is factually better than everyone else in other departments because:

-Our hair is nice

-Clear complexion

-Absolute faith in the one true savior Sam Walton (praise be unto him)

-Efficient immune systems

-Absolutely monstrous penises

What am I missing? I know there was more but tbh I was really high during orientation.